Her Story ( adoption)

Baby

I don't even know where to start. I want to say I'm sorry but again thinking about it I feel I made the best decision of giving you away. I sometimes wonder how you would have been and who would you have grown up to be. And I keep thinking about if you're alright where you are, are you being fed? Are they good parents ? Are you happy ? And it even goes to a point where I feel like finding you and maybe hug you but I know I can't
At times I know or think I made the right decision but the guilt that I gave up on you, the feeling of regret that I let you go the feeling that I somehow failed you
Maybe I should have kept you
Maybe I shouldn't have been ashamed or been embarrassed at the fact that I have you
Maybe you would have made a difference
Maybe at times I wouldn't have to feel so lonely because I'd know that I have you
And when the whole world feel like its against me maybe you were going to be my strength
But
Then again
Was I supposed to make you suffer
Was I supposed to put you through the pain of not being able to provide for you
Would I have been able to raise you properly?
Anyway through all of this
I pray everyday that God protects you.
I know you'll be grow to be a great person

Love
Mom